Healing
by eamcjune20
Summary: What I thought should've happened the night of "A Desperate Man" and how I think Tony and Ziva should have gotten together. This is a bad summary but I think I did pretty good on this one so please give it a chance.


Healing

A/N: Hi, guys, sorry for taking so long I have had major writers block lately:/ Please forgive me and review. This oneshot is set the night after "A Desperate Man", this is what I thought should've happened after Ziva got home. I love ya'll so much so please make me happy by pressing the small blue button at the bottom of your screen Thank you!

(Ziva's POV)

I sighed as I sped through the streets of Washington as I headed to my apartment. No music was playing and I was completely zoned out. I was hurt and betrayed by Ray when he had promised me forever… an empty promise. I just wanted to go home and allow my walls to crumble just a bit. I wanted to cry without feeling weak and allow myself to be mad at the world for a few minutes.

I also could not stop thinking about what Mr. Burris told me and Tony to do tonight, "Cherish each other, that's all I'm saying." He had said. I do cherish Tony, very much; he is my best friend and partner. I can trust him with my past and with having my back when we are in dangerous situations. I have told Tony some things that not even Gibbs knows which says a lot. If I were being completely honest with myself I did love Ray but I love Tony more. I did care for Ray but I am in love with Tony. Ray was just a distraction because he actually liked me, even if he had not been a murderer I would not have been able to accept his proposal. It would not have been fair to him.

I pulled into a parking space at my apartment complex and dragged myself out of the car. I slowly but surely made my way up to my small apartment, happy to be able to give up the façade for a bit; the façade of actually being okay with being used and betrayed; with plastering a small smile on my face like everything is okay. I set all my belongings on the small table by my door and made my way toward my bathroom to take a bath. I took off all my clothes in front of the mirror and inspected each of the scars on my body knowing that if any man saw them that he would run screaming because no man wanted a woman who was permanently ugly. Ray never saw them because I was not ready for that step but I know that if he ever had it would not have been pretty.

I sighed again as tears filled my eyes and slowly cascaded down my face. I did not bother to wipe my face because I knew they would not stop. I slowly filled the tub with scalding water and put bath salts in to try and relax a little bit. I thought of the hurt and anger Ray had caused me, he lied and he actually KILLED someone. I cannot believe I actually fell for his act. I can understand now how Jeanne felt when Tony had to lie to her. The difference in these two cases is the fact that Tony actually did love Jeanne when Ray probably did not even care for me. It is also the fact that Tony was trying to catch a bad guy not become one.

These thoughts caused the tears to fall faster and for my shoulders start to shake. After a few moments of sobbing I climbed out of the tub and put my sweats on and brushed my hair out. I still had tear tracks on my face but I did not bother wiping them because I was probably going to cry myself to sleep as it was. I slowly walked into my living room and sat down on my couch. I pulled the throw blanket off of the back of the couch. I curled my legs underneath me and laid my head on the arm of my couch to try and sleep. After a few moments of silent tears running down my cheeks I heard a knock on my door.

My eyebrows pulled together and I slowly pulled myself off of the couch and went to the door. I looked through the peep hole and saw Tony standing there impatiently. My mouth formed an "O" shape and I pulled the door open. He stared at me for a moment before he walked around me into the hallway as he ran a hand through his hair, "Tony? What are you doing here?" I asked as I scrubbed my eyes with the sleeve of my NCIS sweatshirt.

He sighed and walked to my couch slowly and sank down into it, "I came to check on you and make sure that you are okay. I know you, Ziva and I know that you aren't as fine as you have been acting." He said seriously as he stared up at me.

I frowned and shook my head, "I am fine, Tony, thank you for worrying but I will be okay." I told as I stared down at my feet. I played with the long sleeves of my sweats for a few moments before I had the courage to look up.

He was staring at me with a serious expression for a few silent minutes before he finally said, "No, you're not, Ziva. I wish you would stop lying to me and would just let me in; let me be the shoulder you cry on. Ray was a complete and utter backstabber. You deserve more than that, Zi. You have every right to be angry and sad, you loved him and he lied to you. I wish I could beat him into a pulp for you, Ziva, but I can't. I hate seeing you this upset, especially over a guy like that." He said passionately and I stared at him shock.

I stared for a few more moments before I broke the silence, "Tony, I am glad that you care so much but I need to know why you care so much." I told him in a small voice. I had not even realized that he had moved closer to me but when I looked up he was less than a foot away from me and he was staring down at me. What shocked me more than that was the fact that his close proximity did not scare me; it comforted me.

His evergreen eyes stared intensely back into my brown ones before he answered, "I care so much because I cannot see the woman I have been in love with for many years hurt because of some douche bag." He whispered as he watched my eyes to gauge my reaction.

I gasped as tears filled my eyes, "Do you mean it? I could not take any more hurt, Tony." I whispered back as a few tears leaked out. I thought back to all the times I had fallen in love and ended up broken: Roy, Michael, and, the most recent, Ray.

He leaned his forehead against mine and nodded as he gently wiped the tears away with his thumbs, "Yes, Zi, I could never hurt you. I love you so much, Ziva." He murmured and he gently kissed my forehead.

I gasped and nodded back, "I love you too, Tony, so much." I whispered softly. He slowly wrapped his arms around my waist and hugged me close to his chest. I breathed in his scent and was immediately comforted by the scents of musk, deodorant, and the smell that uniquely belonged to Tony. I sighed gently, "Will you stay the night, please?" I asked softly as I gently pulled away.

He nodded with a soft smile and grasped my hand tightly, "Of course, Zi." He answered with a small comforting smile.

I smiled and led him into my room and he looked at me with a puzzled look, "It is okay, Tony," I told him with a gentle smile, knowing that he was trying to be a gentleman.

He nodded with a shy smile as he slowly stripped to his undershirt and boxers. We both climbed under the covers and as soon as were both on the bed he pulled me into his chest and I snuggled up there to get comfortable. I sighed in happiness as he pressed a gentle kiss to my wild hair before he whispered, "I love you, Ziva," he murmured.

I smiled and replied, "I love you too, Tony," I whispered gently as his breathing slowly deepened and he held me slightly tighter. I could already feel my heart healing and it was all because of the man who had so easily become my partner, best friend, and my boyfriend. I knew we would have a lot to talk about but for the moment I was happy in his arms.

A/N: I hope you guys liked it please be nice and leave a good review for me . I love ya'll so much and thank you.


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